Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle(n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
-Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
of breaking down in the near future.
-Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
who doesn't get it.
-Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
-Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
- Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.